There’s this moment that hits hard.
You made a commitment. You were all in—heart, soul, full send. Maybe it was a plan with a friend, a project at work, a promise to yourself. You meant it. Every part of your neurospicy brain was lighting up with excitement, urgency, maybe even purpose.
Then… it didn’t happen.
Maybe you forgot. Maybe you hyperfocused on something else. Maybe your brain straight-up shut down. And now, you’re not just dealing with a missed deadline or a reschedule. You’re grappling with the guilt, the shame, and the gnawing question: Was I ever really committed at all?
Let me say it loud and clear:
Yes, you were.
We need to talk about the gap—the one between our intention and our execution. That space is where a lot of neurospicy people live. And it’s also where we tend to beat ourselves up the most.
Commitment Isn’t the Problem
Let’s be honest: we over-commit sometimes. Not because we’re flaky, but because we’re deeply passionate, interested in everything, and (let’s face it) a little optimism-biased about our energy levels. We say yes with genuine enthusiasm. But our executive function doesn’t always get the memo.
Our idea of responsibility doesn’t always match the neurotypical model. We might:
- Feel over-responsible for others’ emotions
- Completely forget tasks we care about
- Spiral when we disappoint someone, even if it was accidental
- Hide from commitments we can’t keep rather than renegotiate them
And then we wonder if we’re bad at relationships. Or unreliable. Or “just lazy.” (We’re not.)
The Reframe: Spicy Responsibility Looks Different
Our brains are wired for intensity, not consistency. But that doesn’t mean we’re irresponsible. It means we need different systems. Different pacing. And a lot more self-compassion.
We show up differently—but we do show up:
- With deep care, even if it’s expressed through memes and 2 a.m. check-ins
- With passion projects that consume us until we burn out and disappear (and then feel terrible about it)
- With honesty when we say, “I don’t have the spoons for this right now”
That’s not a lack of responsibility. That’s neurospicy responsibility—it’s just messier, more cyclical, and sometimes hard to track on a calendar.
A Few Things I’ve Learned (and Keep Relearning)
- You can be deeply committed to something and still drop the ball.
- Responsibility isn’t about perfection—it’s about return.
- Saying “no” can be an act of responsible self-care.
- Using tools (reminders, visual planners, buddy systems) isn’t cheating—it’s strategy.
- Missing a commitment doesn’t mean you didn’t care. It means you’re human. A very spicy one.
If This Hit You in the Feels…
You’re not alone.
We built Neurospicy Journies as a space for all the beautifully weird, inconsistent, overly-committed and under-functioning moments we live through. This is where we untangle the shame and reframe the story.
You’re not bad at commitment.
You’re just learning to do it your way.
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